The BoormanBlog

So it occurs to me I never followed up on my last speed dating experience. There were 5 women I wanted to see again. There were 4 women who wanted to see me again. Overlap? One. She wrote me first, thanked me for  wanting to see her again, and gave me her email address. We corresponded and made plans to get together that weekend. She gave me her cell phone #, and I gave her mine. We talked that Sunday and made plans to see a movie (Chris Rock’s ‘I Think I Love My Wife. Not bad, but not great either). I agreed to drive out to where she was, an hour away, I might add.

We met at the theater, went to a nearby diner for some coffee before the show and talked. We talked about family, work, sports, all the usual first date stuff. We made our way back to the theater and settled in for the show. I walked her back to her car, and asked if she’d like to get together the following weekend. She said “Maybe, give me a call on my cell or send me an email”. I took that as a positive sign at the time. I should have read her voice better. Her enthusiasm at the prospect of seeing me again was rather weak. As it turns out, she wasn’t interested. What’s worse, I had to come to that conclusion myself. I emailed her Monday morning (probably a bad idea) and thanked her and said I had a great time. I asked what she might like to do the following weekend, saying that I was up for anything. I said I’d call her on her cell Wednesday night so we could make plans.

No reply to my email.

Called her cell Wednesday night. Got voice mail.

Emailed her the following weekend to see if she’d like to get together.

Like the Beatles sang, No Reply.

Don’t know what the heck I did wrong. I’m tempted to send her a “The heck with you, it’s your loss” email, but I’d rather not waste any more time on someone who shows so little regard for me. I really hate the disappearing act of not replying to email or phone calls. If I’m not interested in someone, I tell them. In my opinion, the other person deserves the courtesy of a response. I don’t disappear. Oh well. I’ve got another speed dating event in a little over two weeks. Wish me luck.

Just got back from playing bass at a worship service. Yep, a worship service. I don’t even go that church! But they asked me, and I agreed. It’s at least an opportunity to get out and play, while Red Embers waits to get rekindled.  Admitedly, it’s a very different group of people and very different music than what I’m used to playing. But hey, a gig is a gig.

Got to love church in New England, where the motto is “God loves you! So we don’t have to.” They don’t even know I’m childfree! They probably wouldn’t ask me to play again if they did

One important lesson I’ve had to learn is: Don’t confuse the church with God. After expanding my horizons a little, I’m surprised how women outside of church appreciate me more than the oh so pious Christian women. It’s not their fault, really. That’s how they were raised, just like their parents and grandparents and so on.

I haven’t slammed the door on church entirely, though. If a church was willing to help me when I ask for help, and treat me right, I’ll gladly be there every Sunday, with a nice monthly check for them to boot. Until then, I’ll be content to pray on my own, read my bible when I please, and watch ‘Give Me An Answer’ on Sunday mornings in my PJ’s eating waffles.

God be praised.

…sometimes you dance alone. Oh well. At least I got out of the apartment for the evening. Unfortunately, all of the women there either 1) Came with their boyfriends 2) Weren’t interested in me or 3) Were interested more in each other than me…if you know what I mean.

And still no Johanna. That makes 3 weeks I’ve gone without seeing her. I do miss her

At least I got out to the club tonight. Sure beats sitting at home!!

Well, it’s not looking promising. Out of the 13 women who were at the event, I was interested in seeing 7 of them again. The remaining 6 I said “No Thanks”. So far, it looks like 5 women are interested in talking with me further.  Of those 5, I was interested in 1 of them. She actually already sent me an email (cool!). Still, even 1 match is better than none. The lady that wrote me seemed very nice. I’ve already written her back. I’ll keep everyone posted!

So I went to a speed dating event last night. Was pretty cool. I must admit it was well worth the 1 hour drive each way…on a weeknight. There were 7 women I was interested in talking with further. Will any of them be interested in talking with me? Well, a few are already. So far there’s one mutual match. Nice girl. We’ll see what develops.

Mad shout out to my friend Scott in VA. Semper Fi! Sorry in advance for not posting in awhile. I’ve got a few projects in the works that I need to devote time to, not to mention work.

I’ll try to keep the world updated

Not her real name as you know, but I went to the club (big surprise!) a few Saturdays ago, on 02/24. I went in, got my Bud Light, and waited on the periphery for the crowd to shuffle in. After a few beers, I got up the courage and made my way around the floor, dancing with whomever I could get close to. It got close to about midnight. I was kind of disappointed, thinking I wouldn’t see Johanna that weekend.

And there she was! Always good to see her. We said hello. I talked with her and her friend for a bit. I asked her about her week (not that great, she was sick), and we headed out to the dance floor for the rest of the evening

Nothing else really to report. Just a good time with a nice lady.

So I’m beginning to thing I’m hitting the clubs a bit too much. How do I know? It started before I even got there lat night (02/23). The parking lot attendant knew where I like to park (in the lower level of the lot, not the upper lot where you pay), and he pointed to a space I could fit in. Wow! Pretty thoughtful of him, I’d say.

So I make my way into the club I like to frequent. I get there early to avoid the cover (that’s one more Bud Light for Chris!) I get my beer and wait for the crowd to arrive, it’s a slow Friday night, but eventually people start turning out, and the place is jumping. Hey! You can’t keep us New Englanders inside all winter! The bartender who’s usually there on Friday & Saturday nights even introduced me to the owner, who put me on the list to get in free at their event next Friday! How cool is that? Damn cool. I know where I’ll be next Friday night.

So after one or two beers, I’m ready to hit the floor. I made way over to a group of guys and together we owned the floor for a few minutes. Of course, I much prefer dancing with women, but hey, it was nice for the fellas to take over the dance floor for awhile. Women do it all the time while the guys just stand on the sidelines and gawk! Tonight it’s our turn Let the woman stand on the sidelines and, well, giggle and point is pretty much what they did :/
And speaking of women, one lady came up and started dancing with me for about 10 seconds, apparently at the goading of her ladyfriends/boyfriend/whatever. Ah, but lady, don’t you know that death be not proud and neither is lonlieness A dance is a dance. It still counts. The night (and therefore the weekend) is already a success. After my 10 seconds were up, she went giggling back to her cohorts.

But a funny thing happened on the way to last call She came back and we danced some more. She even gave me some dancing lessons! “Don’t bounce so much”, she said. “Always let the girl lead”. Soon, she had me moving across the floor, as elegant as Jerry Rice We held each other’s hands, moved apart and back together, backward, forward, sideways. Even twirled her around a few times. It was wonderful. I even danced with a few of her friends for a bit.

When the evening was over, she gave me a peck on the cheek and told me she loved me. I told her the same.

So, Peggy*, if you’re out there. Thank you for the dance lessons. Hope we meet again on the floor soon!

* Not her real name, obviously. I’m continuing to use women’s names that are found in Bob Dylan songs. In this case “Pretty Peggy-O”, from his first, self titled album, released in 1962. Available at Amazon.com now!

So after last Friday night, I figured Saturday night (02/17) had to have a bigger crowd down at the club. Thankfully, more people came out that night, so I wasn’t out on the dance floor by myself! Unfortunately, all of the women were interested in their boyfriends, or some of the better dancing men in the club.

I stayed in the game until the lights went on. But alas, as Billy Idol sang, I was only dancing with myself that night.

So I think I’m all caught up now on my clubbing experiences. Just in time! Tomorrow is Friday night. Maybe I’ll see Johanna. Here’s hoping.

For those of us here on the East Coast, Valentines Day brought us about 4 inches of snow; the most snow we’ve had all winter. For some reason, just about all of Hartford was in a “hunker down” mentality two days later. It may have been the bitter cold, or maybe people were tired from working all week. At any rate, it was Friday night (02/16) and I made my way down to my usual place. The club was having a special post Valentines Day event that night, so I got my Bud Light and waited for the crowd to arrive.

And waited

And waited

And waited

I guess this was one of those days where all the planets line up to cast a big harsh on your mellow. The crowd was even thinner than usual. The dance floor was empty for all but 20 minutes of the evening. Took my own advice though, and stayed in the game. I’m a loyal customer to that place, so I stayed and kept on ordering Bud Lights (and a Red Bull for desert at last call). I felt bad for the promoters. I felt bad for the club.

So I didn’t get to dance with anyone that night. Johanna wasn’t there :(. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. That’s life. We’ll try again on Saturday night.

So I’m looking over my posts, and I see that I never talked about clubbing two weeks ago Friday (02/09). Well, it was a Friday night like any other. I was down at my usual haunt, with my usual Bud Light in my hand.

And in she walked. My dancing partner I had met twice before. Johanna*
I played it cool at first, not wanting to approach to soon so she wouldn’t think I was the obsessive type. So I just kept an eye on her and her friend for awhile, hoping they wouldn’t change their minds and leave right after coming in (wonder why people do that?). They stuck around for awhile and ordered some drinks, so I figured they were there to stay. I walked over and said hello. She was happy to see me. We talked for awhile. I asked about her week. She asked about mine. I had seen her friend around the club before, so I asked them how they knew each other (they work together).

After a few minutes of talk, we made our way out to the dance floor. The three of us danced together for awhile. You know how it is. Dancing in a circle, everyone facing inward. After awhile, Johanna said that she and her friend were heading out to a different club. I asked if she’d be back next weekend. She said she doesn’t get out much, which was too bad. I told her that when she does get back to the club, I’ll be there. We said our goodbyes and I made my way back out to the dance floor. Johanna and her friend must have seen the disappointment on my face when they told me they were leaving, because within seconds, there they were again, dancing next to me. I asked what happened. They said they changed their minds So we continued to dance the night away. Eventually, Johana got tired, so I danced with her friend for awhile.

As the lights came up, I pulled Johanna back out on the floor for the last dance. As we were saying our goodbyes for the second time that night, Johanna mentioned that she always looks forward to seeing me when she comes out to the club. I told her the same.

The lights were up full blast now, 1:45AM and the three of us walked out into the frigid night. As we went our separate ways, Johanna wished me a safe drive home.

It’s unfortunate that, because we’re on two different paths, this can’t work out. But this doesn’t have to be about forever. Maybe this is about enjoying each other’s company, nothing more. Like the great musician Ray Mason said: “I want to be a holiday. Something you look forward to.”

So every time I go to the club now, I think to myself “Maybe Johanna will be there tonight”, and the nights that I do, I’ll know that Johanna was thinking “I’m going to see Chris tonight”!

*Not her real name. For future reference, I will using fake names for the women I meet to protect the guilty. Women’s names that are found in Dylan songs will be used. If, in the unlikely event that I run out of female names that appear in Dylan songs, female names that appear in Beatles songs will be used. This may occur with or without prior notice.